Heroic Understanding
by ChristiWeasley
Summary: Harry has a slight misunderstanding with his best friends after his emotionally charged return to Hogwarts at the end of 7th year. "Love was always the key." Maybe Harry should have told Hermione earlier. Please R&R -Finished-
1. chapter 1

Author Note: I've been writing fanfiction for a couple years but this is my first Harry Potter story. I think the story is rated properly. It could possably be PG13, but I think everything I have written could be in the movies that hav ebeen of the PG rating...Read & review please. all constructive criticism is welcome! Thanks!  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
There were soft muffled voices. That was what made him crack open his eyes to see the bright light. 'Bloody Hell.' he thought before speaking. "Am I dead yet?"   
  
There was a muffled scream of surprise then he felt arms on his chest, kisses raining all over his face. "No! Thank God...oh!......Ron! Ron, get someone! Harry's awake!" Called Hermione's frantic, blurred form.   
  
"What?"There was a gasp followed by hurried foot steps.  
  
"Hermio-" Harry started but stopped as she placed his glasses over his eyes. "Thanks" He slid himself up until his back was against the headboard. It wasn't the hospital wing at Hogwarts which he expected. It was brighter than that, larger, more empty. "Where am I?" He felt like he should have known but he didn't.  
  
Hermione sniffeled. "St. Mungo's." She hugged his neck, throwing him off guard. He placed one arm around her before he realized the other one was heavily wrapped in bandages. "Oh, we thought you were never going to wake up!" She was sobbing now. "Af...after...you...m..met....VVol..Vold...mort.......Harry!" He let his friend cry on his shoulder until Ron returned with a Healer.   
  
This Healer was a tall woman with dark brown hair. She looked much older up close then she had from a distance. Of course , now that he thought about it...Hermione looked much older than 17 as did Ron. They looked absolutely exhausted. "How long have I been out? Have they been here the whole time? What's wrong with my arm? Did I kill him? I should be with Sirius." He thought until he heard Hermione's sharp intake of breath which indicated that he had been speaking aloud, rather than thinking.  
  
"All good questions, dear." The Healer spoke up. Hermione sat on the edge of Harry's bed as the Healer spoke up. "You gave us all quite a scare. Albus Dumbledore brought you in nearly a week ago." Harry reached for Hermione's hand and grasped in tightly in his uninjured right one. "These two have refused to leave your side for barely a moment." She motioned to Hermione then Ron. Hermione offered up a weak, watery smile. Ron watched Harry intently. "THere will be plenty of time to discuss the events of your battle with You-Know-Who once we have you all checked out. Now, please, I need to see my patient privately."   
  
Hermione dropped Harry's hand as she kissed his cheek again with a sniffle. Ron shook Harry's hand and hugged him. When he pulled away to join Hermione, Harry could have sworn he saw tears wash down Ron's face. Ron put an arm around Hermione's waist, at which Harry surpressed a twinge of emotion he didn't want to name. Hermione let their friend lead her out out of the sterile room, though her eyes didn't leave Harry's until the door closed blocking them from one another. 


	2. chapter 2

Chapter 2:  
  
That was a month ago. The end of April, to be exact. The ever-present trio had returned to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. There had been a grand ball in Harry's honor of course. He had been dateless for the event, but had no lack of dance partners. The first dance was Hermione's, then Ginny, then several he didn't know. Things were slowly coming back to normal.   
  
For instance, They had to take their exams. N.E.W.T.s, as required by all 7th years. Hermione was studying. Ron was napping, his face pressed against a heavy volume that Hermione had shoved into his hands hours ago. Harry was watching them. The sound of the wind drew his attention briefly to the common room window. It was nearly 3 p.m. but it looked every bit of midnight. Harry tore his gaze away to ponder more troubleing thoughts than the weather.His eyes snapped from Hermione to Ron then back again.   
  
How could they actually be together? THis question had plagued Harry from the moment he returned with his best friends to classes. Everyone, it appeared, knew except Harry. Harry hadn't mentioned it. He preferred to keep it that way. Not knowing was better then getting the whole story told in excited voices. He didn't want to pretend to be happy. Didn't feel the need to act as if he was thrilled for his friedns. HE simply wasn't. "If I had-"  
  
"Harry?" Hermione looked up from her notes, dropping her quill. "What were you saying?"  
  
He had to think quickly. "Oh..um, I was jsut thinking aloud."  
  
"What about, mate?" Ron muttered through a yawn.  
  
"If I had realized I was this far behind in my studies, I wouldn't have come back." Harry stood. "I've.....I'm going for a walk." He grabbed his cloak and headed for the Great Hall. He didn't stop there. He didn't stop when he got to the stairs, he didn't stop until he was by the lake.  
  
The time passed by slowly. He hadn't truly been alone since he had destroyed Lord Voldemort. He hadn't been alowed time to think about everything. He dropped to his knees as the rain began to fall. His left arm throbbed, an after effect of a spell that he had failed to completely dodge. "If only Sirius were here." He told the wind. "It's my fault he's dead." Harry called out. He could hardly hear his voice as the wind threatened to take over. "Mad-Eye died for me! Tonks is crippled because of me! Lupin lost his soul because of me!" He continued to scream into the continually darkening night.   
  
He clawed at the earth as if he were begging it to open up and swallow him. He let out a sob, then another. Within moments he had lost control of his emotions. Losing all his strength, he dropped his face into the mud. When he realized he couldn't breathe, he rolled onto his back, mouth open, willing the dark clouds to intensify their attempts of flooding Hogwarts. HE willed them to drown him in water just as he was drowning in his own agony.   
  
"HARRY!" Came a shrieking woman's voice. He ignored it. "HARRY POTTER!" He lifted his head, spitting water everywhere. Proffesor McGonagall grabbed his arm and hauled him into the Entrance Hall. "What were you doing out there!" She demanded.  
  
"Drowning." The floor had suddenly become overly fascinating.  
  
McGonagall glared at him. "This is no time for jokes, Mr. Potter."  
  
"I am aware of the, Professor. I was being serious." Harry choked on a sob as he spoke the word so closely related to his deceased godfather's name.  
  
McGonagall said nothing, though Harry heard her sniff loudly. "You never should have had to-" She paused and abruptly changed her tone. "Be out there in this weather. Return to Gryffindor Tower, Harry. You need to get into some dry clothing and rest."  
  
Harry mutely nodded and began to drag his soaking robes (now much more heavy) up the stairs toward what he hoped was an empty common room.  
  
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	3. chapter 3

Chapter 3:  
  
Harry leaned into the wall across from the portrait hole and realized that the Fat Lady was not in her painting. "Damn." He murmured.  
  
"I will not have such language, Mr. Potter." Stated the Fat Lady as she returned. "Password?"  
  
"Riddikulus." He scurried through as quickly as he could to find a room full of chatting and laughter. He sighed and made his way to the boys' dormitory. As he entered his dorm, he heard Hermione's giggles. He had a feeling he knew what was taking place beyond that door. He just couldn't find it in himself to care. He threw open the door, marched to his bed and promptly dropped onto it with a loud "Hmph."  
  
Ron looked over from his bed. "All right, Harry?" Harry didn't lend him a glance as he stared at the ceiling.   
  
"He doesn't look well." Hermione truly sounded concerned as she walked over to Harry's bed. "Your dripping wet! Where have you been?" Her hands were on her hips.  
  
"Out."  
  
"WHy?"  
  
"Trying to die in a way I saw fit, If you must know." He sat up abruptly. "ALthough no one would miss me!" He called out rather more loudly than intended.  
  
"What?" Ron joined Hermione to leer over Harry's bed. Hermione moved to touch Harry but he jerked away with so much force that he fell to the floor. When he stood the bed was between him and the couple. "Everyone would miss you, Harry!"  
  
"No. No they wouldn't. YOU WOULDN'T!" Harry kicked the bedside table, making a picture of the three drop and shatter.  
  
"We would." Hermione tried to speak calmly. "Harry, we just thought you needed to be alone. That's why w-"  
  
"Decided to duck up here for a quick snog?" He moved for the door.  
  
Hermione grabbed his arm. "No! We were discussing the past. All our adventures with you!"   
  
"Forget it, Mione. I don't care." He placed a hand on the door handle. "I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW!" He started and she gasped. "I WANT YOU TO REALIZE SOMETHING!" It was as if he had had a sudden epiphany.  
  
Ron took a step forward, shock evident on his freckled face. "What is it?" He spoke tenitavely as though he were afraid of Harry.  
  
"The only bloody reason I stayed alive was YOU!" Harry glared at Hermione. "THE LOVE I THOUGHT YOU HAD FOR ME KEPT ME ALIVE!" He placed his right hand against her cheek, forcing her to look at him. "That was always the key. My mum saved me by loving me. I love you so much that the Dark Lord himself couldn't kill me!" His hand dropped to his side. "I never thanked you for that. I suppose I should. I just find it hard to when you're in love with someone else. I CAN'T THANK YOU FOR LOVING RON! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!"   
  
"Mate, calm down." Ron stepped between Harry and Hermione. His looked horror-stricken. Harry thought it served him right. "You've got th-"  
  
"Shut up, Weasley." His voice didn't show any real emotion anymore. It was cold. Harry finally opened the door, every intention to walk out. Hermione pulled him back as Seamus, Dean, Lavendar, Parvati, Ginny, and Neville fell in. "Why can't I Disapparate in this God Blessed castle?" He inquired of the ceiling before turning to Hermione as though she had thought to answer him. "I know, I know." He made to immitate her voice. "I believe if you read Hogwarts, A History you would find...." His voice dropped down to his original baritone as he stared into her eyes. Tears filled hers, for Harry's normally emerald eyes were glassy...empty. Harry finished his sentence before anyone could interrupt. "That the Boy-Who-Lived will never be able to have someone love him. That is the way." Harry stepped over Neville and Parvati, who were being helped up by the other eaves-droppers.   
  
Again, he marched out of the common room with no real mention of where he intended to go. To be perfectly honest, he himself had no idea until he found himself in the Astronomy Tower. 


	4. chapter 4 end

Chapter 4:  
  
Harry stared down at Hagrid's hut. He watched his half-giant friend make way from the Forbidden Forest to his home with Fang at his heels.Once Hagrid was out of sight Harry scanned the grounds for something to look at. There was nothing. Night had fallen making the dark sky slightly darker than it was before. There were muffled foot steps at the entrance to the room which Harry chose to ignore.   
  
"Harry?" Bloody Hell...He's just ignore her like he did her foot steps. "Harry, are you alright?" He heard her step toward him. He didn't turn. "I understand that you're upset-" Funny she was right and wrong all at once. "But you have to realize that you're wrong."  
  
He didn't look at her. He couldn't. How could Harry let her see the tears he had been holding back for years? How could she be the one to break him? "How?" He let slip from his lips.   
  
She took this as a break through and moved to touch him. He side stepped her and turned to look in a different direction. "Okay, Ron and I aren't together. Everyone thought we were." She grabbed his arm so he jerked away.   
  
As he did so, she lost balance and fell backward. Harry grabbed Hermione around the back and pulled her toward him. Though this saved her from hitting the hard, cold floor, it put Harry much closer than he wished. He moved away and focused on the stone floor. There were tears evident in his eyes. Hermione could tell just by how much he was trying to avoid her gaze.   
  
Hermione continued. "Thanks." She took a deep clensing breath. "When Proffesor McGonagall came to tell Ron and me about your battle, I was on pins and needles. Ron was an absolute mess also. She told us you were at St. Mungo's but we had to wait until after classes on Friday to come out." She took yet another chance and placed her hand lightly on Harry's face to tilt it up. "I begged her to tell us how you were, if Voldemort were dead. When she told us he was...." She stared into Harry's eyes. Brown on green. She let her gaze drop to follow a single tear as it slipped down his face. "I got so excited that I hugged ROn. I was crying and he kissed me. This was right in the COmmon Room. Everyone saw it. THey all got the wrong impression."  
  
Harry moved away from her. He couldn't look at her. "I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?" She was beside him; he didn't notice.  
  
Harry leaned into the wall. "For everything." He meant to let out a sigh but it turned into a sob. He slid down to the floor and rested his head on his knees. "For ruining everyone's lives......" He let out another small sob. "For....fo..hurting e...ever..everyone....fffor..being...me." He never looked up. It was overly embarassing to let everything go in front of anyone.  
  
There were hands on his face, kisses on his hands, fingers in his hair. He raised his head to glance at his best friend. She was so much more than a know-it-all. She was his everything. She jsut didn't know it. "I love you."  
  
"I know." Hermione kissed his lips. It was chaste at first then deepened. When the pair pulled away due to the necessity of oxygen, Harry opened his mouth to speak. "You don't have to." Hermione cut in.  
  
"I want to." Harry pulled her to him. Wrapping his arms tightly around her waist, he spoke again. This time it was more clearly but jsut as thick with emotion. "I've fought Dementors, Death-Eaters, Voldemort himself, but I'm not a hero. I'll never be the hero everyone thinks I am. I'm not that brave, not that daring. I only do what I have to do-"  
  
"You never had to in the first couple years, Harry. It was your courage and your heart that made you." Hermione tugged on his arm until he looked at her.  
  
Harry kissed her nose. "I know it will be hard, I know I make life hard, but I'm asking....well, begging really.......well, if it's alright, if you dont'mind.."  
  
"Shhh, I understand." She placed a finger to his lips. "Yes, Harry." She smiled until he did also. "I'm yours. I always have been. I jsut didn't want to make your life more difficult....didn't want to add battles. I know you think you're not a hero, but you are."  
  
"No." He stopped her with a gentle kiss. "You are. Through ewverything you've been there. Doing anything I needed, never asking too much. Without you I would have been lost." He looked deeply into her brown eyes.  
  
They gazed at one another for several moments, then spoke together. "You're my hero." They laughed then sat in a comfortable silence. THey had met an understanding. There was no furthur need for words. There was no longer a need for either to be alone. THere was no longer a need for either to be heroic. They understood. And for that.....they were able to love.  
  
-Fin-  
  
Author Note: That's it FOlks! Please, let me know what you liked about it and what you think should be better! I have several story ideas lined up, and I want to make sure I People are liiking these! THanks, Christi 


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